A Kiss Away from Reality
by the ticking clock
Summary: "We're dying," Sun says, realizing the words as she says them, tasting the bitter truth of them on her tongue, "We're dying." AU end to episode 11. Character death. One shot.


**I have taken some liberties with episode 11 because I am a terrible monster.**

 **Please let me know what you think with a review?**

Capheus screams.

He understands the heroes that cried out in the movies. He had once thought their shouts came from a place of bravery, of determination.

How foolish, how naive. His screams come from terror and bullet holes in his van and the man he thought he hated bleeding on the seats behind him.

The bullets arc towards him, pelting the windshield like hail, like a deadly rain, shattering glass. The others, his seven other selves, feel his terror. He tastes their screams in the back of his throat, raw and bloody like his own.

Capheus clenches his eyes shut, almost in anticipation. Something shatters the glass in front of him and suddenly there is pain in his chest.

Capheus no longer has the breath to scream.

* * *

Nomi wakes up choking.

Her entire body is cold, sticky with blood. She can't breathe. There is not enough room for her lungs to expand properly, her chest constricts, pulsing in time with her heart.

Neets wakes up a fraction of a second after her, hands on her shoulders, voice low and desperate, "Nomi? Nomi what's wrong?" Her voice is high and panicked, terrified.

Nomi can't speak. Somewhere, somehow, a part of her is fading, twisting, being ripped from existence and oh God, it _hurts—_

She gestures to her chest, each breath a rasping cough. Blood is iron and bile on her tongue.

Aminita understands. She stares at her with horrified eyes. "We have to do something. Nomi, Nomi, we have to-"

Nomi collapses against her partner's body, choking, gasping, sobbing. In her mind, she runs to Capheus.

* * *

Riley wakes silently.

It is like having her head in the plastic bag all over again—she gasps and inhales, desperately pulls for air, and is denied. Beside her, Will is convulsing on their bed, his body arched tight and high off the mattress, hand clenched into fists.

Riley runs her hands over his, slowly uncurls the tight knot of him until he is in her arms. They cling to each other, sharing the sensation, soothing each other, willing Capheus to breathe, breathe, breathe.

Riley doesn't realize she's crying until Will wipes the tears from her cheeks.

* * *

Lito falls to his knees.

Minutes ago he'd been laughing with Dani and Hernando, throwing back his head, squinting against the glare of the sun. They'd been discussing Lito's latest movie, running lines. Running lines with Dani and Hernando these days often ended like this—tangled together in fits of laughter.

Now, Lito cannot breathe.

Clutching his chest, he feels his heart beat steady, alive, reliable. This is not happening to him.

The heat of the sun shifts to the fire of Nairobi, and Lito presses his hands to Cepheus's bleeding chest. It is an automatic reaction, he really has no idea what he is doing. Cepheus's is spitting red, his eyes rolling, skin clammy with sweat. Lito feels his pain, _feels_ the bullet punching through flesh, muscle and bone.

He is vaguely aware of Hernando's voice, somewhere far, far away. Dani calling an ambulance—

That doesn't matter now.

"Hey," Lito whispers, voice choking, "Hey, Capheus, come on."

Capheus's eyes focus on him, clear and bright with pain. He smiles, his teeth stained red with blood. He does not speak, cannot speak, but Lito understands anyway, _thank you for trying._

"Move your hands," Wolfgang is there, his voice cool, clipped, devoid of emotion. Lito looks up into the other man's curiously blank eyes and nods.

Wolfgang knows the right amount of pressure to apply. Straddling Capheus's body he pushes, but Capheus's own hands are weak and trembling, not strong enough. Wolfgang curses.

Lito can feel Wolfgang's rage and pain pulsing in time with his own heart. He swallows hard. "What do we do?" He demands, desperate, pleading. "What do we do?"

Wolfgang throws his head back in frustration. "I don't know," the words are a quiet whisper, but they hit Lito like blows.

* * *

Sun punches her cell wall until her hands are sticky with blood.

She works through the pain in her chest, the other's crippling terror, Capheus's dying heart. She crumbles them all up in her fist and fights for them.

She does not know how to get to Nairobi. There is no way she can physically go, and with Capheus's body being so weak, she cannot fight through him.

Sun is not accustomed to feeling helpless. She rages and screams and chokes, pounding her fury again and again against the white cell walls, smearing them red.

"What is happening?"

Sun stops her furious strikes.

Kala is curled in the corner of Sun's cell. Her cheeks wet with tears, her breaths quick and panicked. Her eyes, though terrified, are clear and strong when she meet's Sun's gaze. Kala lifts her chin and does not run from the truth. Sun admires her for that.

"We're dying," Sun says, realizing the words as she says them, tasting the bitter truth of them on her tongue. "We're dying."

* * *

Will will never be able to describe what it feels like.

It is experiencing a part of him being ripped away, bloodily, cruelly, unjustly. He has never known pain like this, and doubts he ever will again. He holds onto Riley as tightly as he can, as each of them share Capheus's last breaths. They saw in and out of his lungs, scorch his throat like hot coffee, sting against his lips like ice.

They breathe as one, as they did at birth.

Will feels the pull of seven other lungs, the ache of seven other chests, the terror of all of their pounding hearts.

Together they share the agony of it, surround Capheus, crowd into that small bus on a forgotten dirt oceans away from where Will is physically.

Lito is cradling Capheus's head in his hands. Wolfgang fingers are firmly knotted into the material of Cepheus's t-shirt as though the sheer force of his grip will force Capheus 's chest to rise. Kala is no longer crying, but Will can feel the itch of tears behind her eyes. She leans down, presses a kiss to Cepheus's forehead and tangles their fingers together. Nom is perched next to Capheus on the blood stained seat of the bus. She leans down and whispers in his ear what they are all thinking, "Please, please, Capheus, tell us how to help, please—"

Capheus's eyes are closed, his breaths quick and shallow, but his lips quirk up into a smile at her words. They know the answer to her question.

Help his mother.

Will's chest tightens even more at that. Of course, wonderful, selfless Capheus would want that, of course he is not thinking of himself now.

Sun steps up onto the bus, her knuckles bloody, eyes rid rimmed. She is shaking with fury, and the fire of her emotions tangles with Will's, lifting his chin. Sun is proud and fierce. She will bot bend or break because of this. Kala, too,has set her jaw, her eyes still wet with tears, but determined.

Capheus would not want them to fall apart over this. He'd left knowing he might never come back.

Still.

Will struggles to breathe through the cold pain of it, the physical, mental and emotional agony of feeling every second of death. Capheus's body is fighting it, fighting for survival as it should, but Will can already feel his mind slipping away. His vision begins to blur and fade to black. Slowly the heat of the sun fades from his skin and he is back in his own body.

His screams are echoed seven times as the others breathe their final breaths with Capheus. In, holding it for as long as possible, and then finally the breathless, relief , exhale.

And it is over.

Will's eyes fly open. Riley is watching him with horror, her expression twisted, cheeks stained with tears. Without saying a word, she reaches up and kisses him.

Will feels her breaths mix with his, tastes the air from her lungs, the salt of her tears, the heat of their emotions like a fire. It is wrong, though, wrong that they should feel these things when Capheus can never and will never and-

Riley collapses against his chest, and Will catches her more on reflex than anything else. There is a gaping hole in his mind. That is the only way he can think to describe it. A dark void that is swallowing his every thought, darkening even the sweetest things with pain. It is a feeling of such complete emptiness that Will actually considers the possibility that he really did die. That he's dead and this is just some kind of hell that the seven of them exist in.

Arms come around his shoulders, warm, as familiar as breathing, and suddenly Nomi is crying in his ear, and Lito is wrapping them both in an embrace. He smells like cinnamon and ocean air, Will thinks absently, and Sun is there, stroking back his hair with gentle fingers. Kala and Wolfgang join the circle. Kala is sobbing. Wolfgang presses a gentle kiss to her hair and shares a nod with Will.

They hold each other, sharing the pain of only breathing as seven instead of eight, sharing the agony of death until they can remember that they are, in fact alive.

* * *

"I'm so sorry," Jonas's voice cuts through their grief.

Will looks up.

Jonas is still wearing his green scrubs, his hair a mess, his eyes red rimmed and exhausted. He stands slumped and quiet, as if he carries the entire weight of the world on his shoulders.

Will does not feel sympathy. "Get out," He whispers, fierce, and at his tone the others turn as well. Sun's hands curl into fists. Wolfgang lets out a low, almost inhuman sound, like a growl.

Jonas holds up his hands, palms out. "This is my fault-"

"I don't want to hear it, Jonas,"Will snaps. He cannot explain where this fury is coming from, why he so desperately wants to pin the blame on someone, why he hates that terribly understanding and sympathetic expression on Jonas's face. "Get out."

Jonas does not move. The others have untangled themselves from Will's grip and stand in a loose semi circle, huddled close together. Shock and pain have made them vulnerable. They stare at Jonas like frightened deer caught in the headlights, swaying on unsteady feet, eyes glassy and unseeing. Will feels all of these things, somehow, someway, and steps in front of them, arms out, defensive.

"I am not here to hurt you, or your cluster, Will," Jonas's voice is measured, controlled.

"Capheus's dead," Will snarls, flinging the words like blows, hating the truth of them, hating how they taste in his mouth, hating the fact that he is crying now, and can't stop. "He's _dead,_ Jonas, and we couldn't _do_ anything about it."

"I know how much this hurts," Jonas says, and Will believes him, "Please, let me help you."

"I think you've done enough," it is Sun now, stepping forward. She grabs Will's arm with one hand, bracing it against his bicep with almost bruising strength. Will understands and moves aside.

Sun steps up to Jonas so they are eye to eye. Her jaw is locked, her fists clenched, eyes bright with tears, but her voice is perfectly quiet, perfectly controlled. "Will told you to leave," she says softly. "This place," she gestures to wherever they are, some corner of Will's thoughts where they've converged together, "is not for you." She stabs a finger at his chest, pushing him backward. "You did not kill Capheus, Jonas," she says, speaking slowly carefully, as if she is choosing the words before she says them, "but you and Angelica created _us._ He might have died and we would not have known. We would not have cared, but now," her voice breaks, ragged and raw, "Now we feel every second of his death, and there is a part of myself that I will never get back." She lifts her chin. "We will never forgive you for that." She says the words clearly, intently, confidant in her answer, and Will knows that it is true. They will never forgive this.

Jonas nods slowly. "I'm sorry," he says, as if the words physically pain him, as if they are all he can think to say. Sun nods, curtly, speaks for all of them, "so am I."

Jonas leaves, and they are alone together.

Lito is the first to speak. "I should go," he says, wiping a hand across his eyes, "Hernando and Dani called the ambulance, and…" his voice trails off, but as he speaks Will hears beeping heart monitors and smells the sharp clean scent of hospital linens.

"Go," Will says gently, "you know we'll always…" he's not sure what to say. Be there? That much is obvious.

Lito understands. He nods, and is gone.

Nomi leaves next, saying she has to explain the situation to Neets. Wolfgang and Kala leave togther, her head resting on his shoulder, fingers wound tightly together.

Sun and Riley remain for a long while. They do not speak, simply sit together, listening and feeling each other's breaths.

Will cannot help but wonder who they will lose next.


End file.
